The Surprising Science Behind Sharing and Why Your Plans Shared with Friends are destined to Fail!
The subconscious dopamine side effect.
Sharing our plans and aspirations with others is a common way to seek validation, feedback, and support from the people around us. It is natural to feel a sense of excitement and anticipation when we share our plans with others, as we anticipate the positive feedback and encouragement that often follows. And chances are your plans are destined to fail. My personal experience 100% of the time. And I have a clear scientific explanation why it happens and how i overcome this habit and my plans started getting executed perfectly.
I have always been a vocal person, thinking that if I share everything with my friends and people I know, it would give me a different perspective and feedback from them. With their help, I can execute the things I’m planning perfectly. I guess this is the case with most of us. But it turned out that every time I shared anything, whether it was a plan or work, it failed horribly every single time. On the other hand, when I didn’t share anything and worked on it quietly, voila! The accuracy of execution was 101%. So one day, I sat down and started wondering, why? whats the reason for this embarrassing failures?
And the answer for my big brain mystery of the century was. It being a psychological problem. Lets understand with an example. You want to start a cooking youtube channel. You jolted down ideas and the way you are gonna execute and perfect every single video. You are excited that you are starting something epic. You are dreaming of collaborations with MrBeast and Gordan Ramsay. You share this dream with your friend and family. Everything is super charged and exciting. You are on rocket ship of energy. BUT!
Lets just freeze this frame and see whats happening inside your body. Sharing this epic idea and all the possibilities after it being successful. Is releasing a lot of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. It’s giving you a sensation of achievement and success. Have you achieved anything in reality? HELL NO! You haven’t even started yet. This internal sensation of achievement and success somehow is stored in your brain. Your attitude towards the plan switches to the level like you have mastered it. For our example, your attitude is most likely be like Gordan Ramsay and Jamie Oliver. Keep in mind in reality you haven’t even started yet.
Next up, you fire up your setup, does all the things in your big brain with Gordan Ramsay’s attitude, make a video and post it online and boom! Here comes the reality bomb. Your out of the class Michelin star video got just 5 view. Those views are also after you have shared it with like 200 of your Instagram followers and individually begging them to watch the video. The reality bomb hits hard and all of sudden the dream of collaborating with Gordan Ramsay and Jamie Oliver breaks in the awkward silence.
The thing happening at this moment is you feel like being a failure Because your brain have that stored dopamine message remember? After you shared that epic plan with everyone? Sharing anything immediately gives you temporary imaginary feeling of success but when reality bomb hits, you feel broken. Unsatisfied and a total looser. Lets do another reality check. Did you really fail? No, this was your first video. No one in the history was a master from day one. Gordan Ramsay was not a pro chef on day one, Just like you he would have also burned his mum’s kitchen down, Michael Phelps would have had water in his nose and almost died when he started learning swimming, MS Dhoni would have been embarrassingly clean bowled first time he held a bat.
The psychological effect of us feeling like failure at this point is real. And the very next thing anyone would be doing is to quit whatever he started and thus obviously it means the epic plan failed.
Lets just recap. You had a great idea? Yes!. What did you do to execute? Absolutely nothing! Oh! you made one video. Screw that, that was an Example. See? Even you are also getting trapped by this thing just by reading it?
To solve problems in daily life, remember to take action towards your goals and making it a habit. Don’t get discouraged by obstacles or initial failures. Avoid seeking constant validation and only share what’s necessary. Take note of feedback, but don’t obsess over it.
